Wrote this for you in a computer lesson lol.
No argument of mine can help you but I’m telling you this because I am worried about you, and hope that you don’t perish without having truly known and tasted the sweetness of Christ’s love for you. The ones who don’t have it live in a very dark place, not only mentally but in the spiritual realm it’s hallow. I know you don’t understand what I mean and you are still spiritually developing—not that I am anything but I realized a lot—and haves loads to process and learn. But I have things that I want to share with you, which I’d learnt from this ongoing journey, although still early, but I’ve come across many revelations. These things you need to open your heart and ears too, because time and time again Jesus had said “Whoever has ears to hear, let them hear.” So take heed and listen to what I am going to say. I will be leaving in a few months so I’m making these entries for you to read when you need.
Now I need to point out to you that I can’t force you to change, it’s not even one single bit of my right, and I have no authority to do anything but warn you with gentleness, kindness and love. However, this change can come about by seeking the Lord wholeheartedly, and seriously delving deep to take the time to study—not just taking any pinterest picture, person, written claim, but searching it’s foundations to solidify your beliefs. Thus, you won’t be double minded or unstable le in your ways. Even more important and way above all the knowledge of man or just knowing the scripture or your beliefs, is that of knowing and on a daily basis experiencing the fellowship and love of God. I can’t describe it to you because how can I describe a relationship to anyone, you constantly talk with them, think about them, spend time with them and get to know who this person is. You fall in love with every aspect there is to exits and yet more we will live eternally after this life just to grasp truly and understand everything, though great is the mystery of Godliness, about Christ. It will take an eternity to understand the eternally steadfast love of Jesus. And the desire to desire this love can only happen when you spend more time with God, where then the holy spirit cries out father yearning to learn more and more. And that’s the thing I most love about Christ, the more time you spend with him, the more you can’t wait to come back and spend more time. Of course were set in a world of temporary distractions and the Lord understands we are bound by these tasks, but the fellowship is what he yearns for from you. Not just empty prayers in your hear, however I don’t know what you pray so I am not one to judge, but there are deeper things I even am yet to experience so I don’t like to talk about things I haven’t gone through yet, but there are deeper realms where you truly experience the paralyzing presence of God in your prayers. I remember once in the very beginning, I had this extreme anxiety while in bed trying to sleep, but horrifying images popping in my head, and then I began to pray. After that pray, it was like a cloud of his glory, peace and love that rested on my heart, I was too at rest not to rest. This is what intimacy is, that a God so big able to speak the universe into existence, can speak so softly to our hearts enough to calm us from the absurd temporary troubles of this world. And this love is what made me change and what will make you change because he who began a good work in you will finish it to completion. This is the love that made me disregard everything this world offers, because only Christ offers eternal life. Not a TV show that you yearn to get another after or an empty book that you seek more of and are a misrepresentation of reality. I would always imagine what it would be like to have one of the books I would read or TV Shows become reality, but the only one that lived up to that and not only came into reality, it was spirit and life. It transformed everything.
This is why it’s been hard to talk with you lately, the more time I spend in God’s presence, the more I learn about this world and its substantial fallen condition, and the more I feel its hallowedness and seek more time in the presence. A relative of mine once thought I was stupid that I felt like the world offered me nothing, he told me I was yet to learn more. But the more I sought and learnt about it, the more depressing it was. So I stopped taking in opinions, Psalms 118:8 “For it is better to trust in the Lord, than to put confidence in man.” And time and time again God would ask me to trust him and he showed me. There are many things that the Holy Spirit will be grieved by, essentially all sin, and it’s one of the biggest marks you have that he’s abiding in you. The issue you had with witchcraft and your sudden withdrawal from it, that right there is the Holy Spirit.
Now I can go on listing many things that are grieving but it won’t do any good for any of us, in my first few weeks I would Google the weirdest of things but all depriving from this term “Is it a Sin?” When you come across something like this, remember, disregard sin, and not only it alone, but anything serving as a stumbling block in your fellowship with God. Though all I can do instead is pray for you.
2 Corinthians 10:4-5 “4 For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, 5 casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,”
Meaning that we aren’t able to win anyone’s mind, heart or soul with vain unending arguments—because there are many opinions and views before us— but through that of prayer, we will see before us minds being captivated by the Glory of Christ. God bless, and good luck my friend. I love you.